asksamarafifer:

Enough of the bs on the people I know…god I need a drink. :I

So do I!

Of course, I always needs a drink…

asksamarafifer:

askthomassteele:

You never let me have any fun! Okay, if I can’t set him on fire, can I at least slit his throat and watch the blood pool upon the floor? Or stain the carpeting. Whichever.

D̞̥ͫ̽͒̾̓̇̿ͅo̾̓̏̔͆̍ ̊̈́y͍̜͚ͪ̑͊ͪͦͪͥo̱̗ͥͯ̽̆̐û͔̙̒̈̿̔ ̣̩̣̗͍W͔̘͔̭̹ͣ̔ͮ͐ͦͭA͍̠̬̟͊Ñ̰̩͇̗̃ͧͫ̚T̪͈̠̓̃̒ͤ̂ ͙̦̦͓̯̹ͤm̩̠̻̟͙̓̔̉ȅ̾̓͆ ̫̄̔t̠̾̀o̘̘̖͙̪ͦ̓ͮ̂ ̦̩̲̺̯̱̑̌ͯ͊ͥͮf̬̼ͤͦͮͫ̈́ȧ͕̜̤͍͊ͦ͋ͭḻ͎̲̤̳̯̣͆c͈͈̭̭̻͈̤ͬ̔ͮͦ͋̊̂o̭̦̝̦̲ň͕͈̪͈̉͊̈ͫͅ ̞͙͇̥̥̠͉ͧ̐pụ̙͉̯n̗̘̟c̯̑h̰̦̗͈͖ͯ́͊ͤ̂ͨ͒ͅ ͈͓̯̲̰̣͗͐ͥ͆y̹͍̝̹ͧ̈́̓ó̺̆͂͑͗u̳͚ ̞̌̿̎́i͇͓͊ͪͨ̍̿n̜̦͗ͭͮ͑͐ ̙̘̲͇̼͙̱̊͊̃ͧͦ̓t̮͉̪͕̳̜h̫̝̫̫ͩe̖̪͆ ̗͉ͪͭd͓͖i̫ͩ̂̐̈͊ͮc̪̖̀ͯ̃͊̄̈kͬ̎͂̾ͦ ̮͍̉̆̒̿a̓̂̌̎ͬ̎g͓̖͚ͫͪã͙͈i̦̰̟̜̘͇n̜̭̹̖͔ͫ?̻̑ͪ̍̊͒̅

No…

But look, I’ve dealt with pirates before! Not so much the swashbuckling kind. No, more like the kind with AK-47s that take over cruise ships and hold the passengers hostage. But same difference! All it takes is a 7.62 full-metal jacket round right between the eyes!

It’s like putting a baby to sleep, but messier and louder.

Rock-a-bye-BAM!!!

asksamarafifer:

askthomassteele:

SEE? HE WANTS IT, IN HIS DARKEST OF HEARTS. I’LL GET THE GASOLINE AND THE BLOWTORCH!!!

….Thomas.

NÖ̦̟͓͈̥̠͋̓̈ͬ!̇ͤ͆͒̿̈͑

You never let me have any fun! Okay, if I can’t set him on fire, can I at least slit his throat and watch the blood pool upon the floor? Or stain the carpeting. Whichever.

asksamarafifer:

askdofla:

asksamarafifer:

I HAVE ENOUGH BAD KARMA AS IT IS! NO PROVOKING THE PIRATE WARLORD IN THE PINK FEATHERS!

Seriously…I don’t want any confrontations.

Hn? Fufufufufu!! What is this, Sam? Your friends want to come out and play? ;P Fufufu!!!!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU———!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D8<

SEE? HE WANTS IT, IN HIS DARKEST OF HEARTS. I’LL GET THE GASOLINE AND THE BLOWTORCH!!!

asksamarafifer:

I HAVE ENOUGH BAD KARMA AS IT IS! NO PROVOKING THE PIRATE WARLORD IN THE PINK FEATHERS!

Seriously…I don’t want any confrontations.

IT’S ONLY A CONFRONTATION IF HE MANAGES TO FIGHT BACK.

asksamarafifer:

askthefucktards:

asksamarafifer:

askdofla:

Fufufufu! Oh, Sam baby ;P you like that?

Uh, no. No I do not. BI Thank you very much. I don’t think I need to see that when I log on.

Speaking of not wanting to see porn when they log on…..Sam….explain yourself. Who is this fruity individual….does Potter know about this? Goddammit Sam….what the hell. Keep your late night activities to yourself. 

The new bane of my existance, Tally. He’s an acquaintance…and a reluctant one from my end.

Can I set him on fire? It’s been a while since I set anyone on fire.

comeonandachewithme:

HELP AND REBLOG PLEASE.

if you do one thing today, fucking reblog this. You could be the reason for someone surviving. It takes seconds. Do it.

Dear Naruderp:

I cannot fathom this bizarre obsession with defeating me that you seem to be fostering. You continually act in an antagonistic manner towards me for defeating you not once, but twice…And yet you yourself are to blame for both of those occasions.

The first time, I did challenge you to a fight, yes. But do you remember why? It was because you set me on fire while I was sleeping, you ass. Without prior knowledge, I might add, that I was immortal. That means that, had this been somebody else, and not in the Sanctuary, you would have potentially killed someone just for a few giggles. I mean, my God. I’m a prick, and I could possibly call myself “evil” and get away with it, but that’s just stupid. Why would you even set someone on fire just to play a joke on them, you ass? When I douse someone with gasoline and use a blowtorch to set them ablaze, it’s not for a joke. It’s not for a prank.

It is to fucking kill them.

Second time I kicked your ass, you were the one to challenge me. Not because you wanted to get better, but because you had some deluded dream of vengeance for the first time. Now, here’s the thing. You were almost as powerful as I was the first time I kicked your ass. Me?

I was approximately five times more powerful than that when we fought the second time. Had that been an actual fight to the death, you would have been committing suicide by dumb-ass idea.

So, let’s get this straight, so there are no misunderstandings here. The only way you will ever have a hope in Hell of defeating me is if you somehow acquire the Nail of Helena from Hellboy, jam it in your heart, and then become exactly like Anderplant. Who died, by the way. And it still probably won’t be enough. I’m always going to surpass you, jackass. Get used to it.

Fuck Off and Die in a Fire,

Steele

I’ve been meaning to upload this for you guys. The last “Thomas Reads” cut out due to technical errors. Here’s a summary of what you missed.

magitekbrats:

askthomassteele:

…There was screaming. Lots of it. A few certainly did faint.

You are a monster.

Not any more or less of one than you are for wanting to highfive me for it, Thompson. Admit it, you’re jealous you couldn’t do it yourself. C:

…Yes, well…That “cleaver” pun of yours?